Candyland Homo

Eat it Ray, Eat It!

Trying to do VHS in an empty library is no easy task, but trying to work on VHS when you have a few freckled faced faggits running around it’s just about near to fucking impossible.

Any necklace is gay, candy is usually for homos, mix the two and you have the entire group of boys from A period English. Now I believe that instead of individually eating the candy they should have to eat the candy off of each other necks. This type of soft-core pornography would probably make any she-male wet, just thinking about it I grew half an inch.

Spit swapping pixy stick sugar is probably a fantasy of many of these prepubescent boys.  Blogging is fun but when you have to put up with salad tossing, cunnilingus liking gay-boys begging you to make a blog it makes you never want to write again. After this near homoerotic experience today I feel as if I need to go home and jerk off with some barbed wire around my nipples just to earn my mainlines back.

It’s one thing to be a pth, part time homo, but its another thing to frolic around the library, in a flamboyant manner, playing a game of immature grab assin’. I hope all of these kids get a nice plumper to pound the shit out of them in bed some day, and I hope it will make them realize that road down the dark tunnel of a mans ass is Enter Only.

“A notch on the belt is better than a notch on the pussy”

TCHF; Drew

Andrew BamBam, that curly headed little fucker. It is a love and much hated relationship he and I share.

A kid who once used to be a teabaggin little bastard has all but grown up into a mature french fry faggit. You see I was mid-deucing in the bathroom right after lunch, about the time when my body decides to drop a fiber fudge into the depths of the Hadley sewer system, when the door to the bathroom slammed shut. Stage fright came up and mid expulsion the turd hit the mid point and was dangling about to make my touch-hole all wet with the back splash.

That splash was not heard though and I was left pondering who was in the bathroom. I heard a sheepish little giggle that sounded like a young boy was trying to talk with too much dick in his mouth. And then I saw through the slit in the door an eye peeking in at me. It  was the love-able Drew BamBam. Drew and I started talking about everything and at that point I looked up above the stall and there he was looking down at me.

A turd war insinuated (à la Seth) and all hell broke lose, our white bathroom now shit stained and soiled forever. I tried to a quick wipe (always front to back, not back to front. Your girlfriend will thank you for not having fudge residue on your sweatsack.) and half way out the door I caught the little fucker. I grabbed a piece of his curly hair and told him he was going to finally get it. But a change of heart hit me and I decided, ah hell it makes me feel young again to throw poop around the bathroom so why no let him go for now.

You see for ever hero a villain, for every homo and hetero, and for every king a crown. This is how our world works and to brighten up my day I need Drew BamBam, so Hey why the fuck not keep the “Curly Headed Fuck” around for a bit, he is entertaining.

Until next time “fuck all ubuntu’s and get the beers in”

Ferry Party, Amsterdam, and E

Anyone who just got back from a trip to Amsterdam would probably be joyous and maybe even a bit tired, but not Paddy BamBam. You see Paddy isn’t like a normal tourist, he doesn’t go sightseeing and he wouldn’t go to a museum even if you paid him. Paddy went to Amsterdam for one reason , the red light district and some ecstasy. Now going to Amsterdam and wanting to do this is one thing but going to Amsterdam with your parent and friend and wanting to do this is a whole different story. If I went to Amsterdam and didn’t get a hooker and didn’t go to a rave and do some ecstasy I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it, but not Paddy. He says he was held back by Andy (aka. Double Digits, see earlier post) and that he never reached his full potential at all. Then only way he can redeem himself is to do ecstasy here in the States and it would be “a spiritual experience.” In other words Paddy would try and get a girl to take it with him and leave some love stains. If this ever happens there will be an update but until then we can only imagine the sticky mess that he will leave behind.

The Ferry, a local hangout of the youth for years and years. A meeting place of towns and cultures, well not really. The Ferry has taken part into some of the most jackassed philosophical stoned and drunken ramblings I have ever witnessed. Some people when they get drunk puke and others find a chubby and violate them. But when you’re drunk should you be rambling about a manifesto and stating that we are just an inconstancy in the legitimate universal uprising? No. I’ve seen a lot happen at the ferry, I’ve heard a lot to, some ground breaking things have been tried there. An aluminum deposite has been stared and there are talks of mining the river for this aluminum in a few years…thank you Keystone. Amateur physicist Mikey K. decided it would be an appropriate place to try out his sub-truck. Having no prior knowledge of water, depth, or even what the assfuck he was doing, Auntie said “fuck ubuntu’s and went for it anyway. Now I know he won’t be a recipient of the noble prize, but the Ferry has been a pretty experimental place. From saliva to submarines, it is truly the next generation of Hopkins Academy’s research and engineering departments. With new ground being broken everyday it seems there is no stopping it.

Until next time, keep it clean and if anyone asks she said she was 18.

350th Shirt & Swine Flu

I was on the ass end of a wrong deal. I agreed with Drew that if he gave me a P.A.C.C shirt then I would take him out to dinner at Chandlers which has steaks that run about $30. So I will be paying $30 for a $5 shirt, in a few words this can only be described as awesome.

On a side note, Amherst College has a few cases of swine flu. According to Patrick BamBam a uncertified scientisit, unregistered doctor, and a low grade gynecologist said swine flu will turn into “the zombie flu” and us normal people will have to fight off the zomibes to save the human race. Good thing we have all been playing nazi zombies on call of duty world at war to prepare for this.

Cleats Jeff Would Wear

Hey Guys, guess what this is a picture of… cleats Jeff would wear. They are pink, the color of Jeffies pussy.

Soups and Dilf

And its on… he was piss hammared drunk, cocked, and blown out of his tits. Paddy was tuned in and even turned on. She was a girl of modest size maybe pushing 3 bills. And half her weight was in tits and maybe a few extra chins but he didn’t care. Because she was so fat Paddy could hide his fears in her rolls. After finishing up, (money shot style), Paddy continued to party and was given a choice, would he rather be a boat traveling 30 knots or a train traveling 20 mph? He couldn’t decided and wanted to father her child.

Softballs

AP gym has taken a step in the right direction by announcing this week; softball would be the spring sport. Here’s how week 1 went down.

After a performance of unadulterated shit during indoor wiffle ball, team  Wifebeats have turned it around. With a 4-3 lost today, team Pussy Pinchers is really feeling the pinch. WB’s really have our balls in a blender. We’re down 0-2; WB’s have a pitcher that works his arm harder than happy ending at a massage parlor.

Losing today felt like taking a slut to prom just to get some. We can’t be like the soccer team, and we can’t be like the basketball team, we have to reach around and pull it out of our ass. Or we will just all get angry take it out in the shower on Snoot.

EPL Ups and Downs

This epl season has been full of highs and lows, Hull City is siting near the likes of Liverpool and Chelsea why Tottenham has disappointed early on but not as of late.

Liverpool v Tottenham: 1:2

Spurs looked down and out, Liverpool scored early on by way of a Dirk Kuyt strike from a tight angle, 6 yards out. Spurs keeper, Heurello Gomes did little to impress, after coming out of goal to clear a back pass, he was chipped by Gerrard from 20 out luckily to be saved by the crossbar and see the ball run out of play. It was fair to say Liverpool were the only team pressing on in the first half but Supurs wouldn’t be out done today. Fast forward to the start of the second half and Spurs were level after a Jamie Charragher own goal. Now level and having seen Liverpool waste a half dozen chances, Supurs had three points in reach. 90th minute and substitute Roman Pavlyuchenko slots home the winner in fine fashion to see Spurs take the spoils. Liverpool missed chances and could have gone up 4-0 easily but were wronged by the post twice, Kuyt missed high from a low cross and that would have made it 4. Spurs left it late but they didn’t fail to excite for the second game in a row. It looks as if Spurs chances have changed, going from bottom of the table only a week ago to a 4-4 tie with north London rivals last week and now a 2-1 win over Liverpool, are Spurs on the up? Time will tell….

Back and Ready

After finding my wordpress username and password I am backand ready for action, except that I do not have journalism anymore and therefore I cannot blog in school beacuse I have no time. So this will all be selfmotivated and done with free time, so don’t expect much.

Hot Hot Hot

It is so Fing hot in the school, like holy ______, it could not get any hotter in this school.  I walk into a room and it is a sauna and I loose a few Lbs just from sweating every day. I am ending this blog before I die of heat stroke…..